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#81 [url]

Nov 24 16 9:30 AM

mimifan09 wrote:
Kevon wrote:
These kind of suggestions aren't going to happen so to save us time, if you can confirm that's not what the expectation is, we are happy to continue exploring how we can better communication and feedback.

The board absolutely needs rules and moderation but it's the direction of the moderation that is the problem. I also want to make it clear that my objective in giving my opinion on this issue last night was not to bully or attack anyone. Both Carlos and David attempted to paint myself and others as bullies and hypocrites for voicing our opinion on the current moderation and how this board should be run going forward. 

My opinion on Carlos is not personal. I am criticising his use of the power he has as a moderator/administrator. When other debates have ensued regarding the state of FOMM nowadays and why things are quieter, I wanted to address the moderation but I always felt I would not be given a fair hearing because of how he reacts when there is any perceived criticism of his position. I don't feel Carlos currently has the requisite skills to moderate this board fairly, equally and to a degree impartially, which I know is hard given the nature of message boards.

He often speaks to people in a condescending and patronising tone like we are all stupid children who need to put in our place. I stated my opinion last night and I was told he had resolved more issues between forum members that I have had hot dinners and that my goal was to paint the admins as lazy do nothings. That was never my objective. 

His biases towards certain long standing members are obvious and rule breaches on their part have been overlooked because of these long time friendships. That would be fine if the same applied for everyone but Gawain's ban was clearly an abuse of his position because Gawain finally wanted to stand up for himself.

I believe a moderators role is to make sure the board runs smoothly first and foremost. That means they should delete the posts, threads they believe are spam and are off topic and maybe then PM members to let them know opening several threads isn't necessary without publicly humiliating members by scolding them for what they are doing. They should apply the rules of the board. Not meddle in debates in an attempt to act as a dispute resoluter, which I've seen Carlos do several times. The whole point of forums is discussion and heated debates occur. Debate shouldn't be stymied and pushed in the direction a moderator see's fit. Its only when a debate becomes personal and full of personal attacks that a moderator should intervene. Yes they absolutely should play a part in resolving issues between members if the members want that but it should be done in private. Fundamentally though, moderation is about applying the rules and handing out warnings and bans when those rules are broken by any member, regardless of how long they have been a member. 

I'm not going to speak on the issues you have with Carlos. He has the right of reply.

However, in reference to the bolded text, first and foremost - yes, I agree. But members have to also bring their part to the table as well. Some posters go out of their way to publicly humiliate other posters and admins as well - even when we aren't involved in a conversation, some posters find a way to bring up a dig or a snide remark against us and it's happened many time before. I'm just using this as an example for it having to work both ways. Not that I'm saying it's a tit for tat thing but, just wanted to put that out there as well that what members ask of us, they must be willing to committ to as well and vice versa.

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#82 [url]

Nov 24 16 9:49 AM

Brazilian X Man wrote:
I am going to give my two cents since Mario sent me a link to this thread.

I actually understand all points of view. Ages ago I was a moderator on another Mariah messageboard and I understand how hard it is sometimes because it is easy to cross a line between keeping everything in order and being a dictator, and I was often accused of being one. So, I cannot point my finger at Carlos and say he is wrong, I understand his point of view and the rules is doing his best to follow. and I agree that the butter bitter queejn cooment was childish and agressive, a "lol" doesn't erase the reality of the sentence.
On the other hand, I think Gawain is, for the most part, a harmless fan who only wants to support Mariah and created another thread because he wanted to see his name on an "official" thread and see his name on top of the board, nothing else, and got a little frustrated.
I also understand all the doubts the other members have. FOMM has about 10 active members, banning one good poster over something that doesn't seem too much means a lot. Over the years we have seen lots of agressive behaviours that did not lead to a ban
This is how I see it as well. And maybe it's not the case but, it's my opinion as I stated earlier. And it's happened numerous times before and the threads have been closed numerous times before as well. So, Gawain must be well aware that this isn't how it works.

I understand if someone has not seen the thread or is unaware it may be being discussed already but to create another thread just for the sake of wanting yours to be the more popular one is a little ridiculous. You can't keep both threads open and split the discussion (unless it's pulled out from the random thoughts thread to a sole thread of it's own).

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Kevon

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#83 [url]

Nov 24 16 9:52 AM

matty tat tat wrote:
ShayneFly wrote:
matty tat tat wrote:
Personally, I think the moderator's main role should be to keep the Mariah love. Anyone coming in saying Mariah's a tart who can't sing etc should suffer the wrath of a mod i.e. be banned.

If two people have a disagreement or an argument in a thread I don't think a mod should step in and ban whoever started it or even issue a warning. We should be able to sort it out ourselves like adults, yes sometimes things get heated but we don't need Father FOMM to come in and tell us how to behave, disagreements and arguments will reach a peak, plateau, and then fade into obscurity and we'll go back to one big happy family. If one of the people asks for help or for the other person to be reprimanded then the mod should exercise their power but it's clear a lot of people have a problem with being told how to behave by someone, or people, they see as equals and not something above.

If someone "attacks" another person publicly or in PM I think it's up to the person on the receiving end to stand up and say "hey he called me a dickhead, that's not fair" or something. I don't think any of the posters on here want anyone banned because they throw an insult, shade, or have heated disagreements or discussions. It all adds to the flavour and rainbow that os FOMM. A message board that has no excitement or arguments is a bland and boring place. It's like being at a dinner party with people who want to discuss their plant watering techniques or the difference between a nut and a legume, the fun ones are when dirty jokes or embarassing/rude stories are told and when a good deal of bitching goes on.
Yes. And this needs to happen more. But also you will have members who won't want to create the "drama" associated with "dobbing" on someone and fearing the backlash of that person or that person and others. So, they will just lurk or leave. I think if someone takes issue with something someone else has said or done to them, then the other party needs to be willing to think, "Well, I don't agree but who I am to say who should be offended by what. I'll keep it in mind or just not interact with that person in the future." Or something lol There are sometimes habits of people who have been "dobbed" on to ignite the issue on the board so all can see.


I see your point but I think this place needs to be less rigid and more relaxed. People should feel they're able to express what they're thinking or feeling. If someone calls another person a dickhead, or ass hole, or %*@+% face, personally I don't think that warrants a ban or a warning. Unless the person on the receiving end says "that's not fair." 
I see what you're getting at but this could lead to a lot of game playing. I like A and don't like B. A shades me during an argument, but that's fine. B does the same thing, I have a huge issue with it, how dare they. It might lead to the same lack of consistency and double standards that are being complained about. Some people getting a pass just because of who they are or being selectively sensitive just because of another agenda.



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carlos b fly

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#84 [url]

Nov 24 16 9:53 AM

ShayneFly wrote:
mimifan09 wrote:
Kevon wrote:
These kind of suggestions aren't going to happen so to save us time, if you can confirm that's not what the expectation is, we are happy to continue exploring how we can better communication and feedback.

The board absolutely needs rules and moderation but it's the direction of the moderation that is the problem. I also want to make it clear that my objective in giving my opinion on this issue last night was not to bully or attack anyone. Both Carlos and David attempted to paint myself and others as bullies and hypocrites for voicing our opinion on the current moderation and how this board should be run going forward. 

My opinion on Carlos is not personal. I am criticising his use of the power he has as a moderator/administrator. When other debates have ensued regarding the state of FOMM nowadays and why things are quieter, I wanted to address the moderation but I always felt I would not be given a fair hearing because of how he reacts when there is any perceived criticism of his position. I don't feel Carlos currently has the requisite skills to moderate this board fairly, equally and to a degree impartially, which I know is hard given the nature of message boards.

He often speaks to people in a condescending and patronising tone like we are all stupid children who need to put in our place. I stated my opinion last night and I was told he had resolved more issues between forum members that I have had hot dinners and that my goal was to paint the admins as lazy do nothings. That was never my objective. 

His biases towards certain long standing members are obvious and rule breaches on their part have been overlooked because of these long time friendships. That would be fine if the same applied for everyone but Gawain's ban was clearly an abuse of his position because Gawain finally wanted to stand up for himself.

I believe a moderators role is to make sure the board runs smoothly first and foremost. That means they should delete the posts, threads they believe are spam and are off topic and maybe then PM members to let them know opening several threads isn't necessary without publicly humiliating members by scolding them for what they are doing. They should apply the rules of the board. Not meddle in debates in an attempt to act as a dispute resoluter, which I've seen Carlos do several times. The whole point of forums is discussion and heated debates occur. Debate shouldn't be stymied and pushed in the direction a moderator see's fit. Its only when a debate becomes personal and full of personal attacks that a moderator should intervene. Yes they absolutely should play a part in resolving issues between members if the members want that but it should be done in private. Fundamentally though, moderation is about applying the rules and handing out warnings and bans when those rules are broken by any member, regardless of how long they have been a member. 

But members have to also bring their part to the table as well. Some posters go out of their way to publicly humiliate other posters and admins as well - even when we aren't involved in a conversation, some posters find a way to bring up a dig or a snide remark against us and it's happened many time before. I'm just using this as an example for it having to work both ways. Not that I'm saying it's a tit for tat thing but, just wanted to put that out there as well that what members ask of us, they must be willing to committ to as well and vice versa.


This is a very big issue. I'm not aiming this at everyone but there is a concentrated group of people who are constantly make sniping, snidey, antagonistic remarks about admins when we are nowhere even in or involved in a conversation. It is starting to feel like a very personal vendetta between a strain of posters who are in that middle ground of new and veteran, who seem to feel they aren't enough on the radar and need to chop off a few heads. What you've done instead is build a wall where you won't approach when we could help you on a matter and you're telling us we're awful people simply because things aren't going your way or how you want.

Its not building a great feeling. As Matty said, there is tension and for me, its starting to get personal. 

Which is ironic as 'professionally' (ie, Mariah and her music) you are all such great posters and I never clash with your views. I've actively tried to engage into your posts because it makes you post more and you are genuinely providing great content and it helps establish you more and more here.

Someone like Mario and Vinny are great for putting in a PM and asking for my opinion, help or intervention on a matter. We don't always see eye to eye and yes, I've known them both a longtime but I have and always will try and do what I can and give them a view or even intervene in some manner. You don't see either of them clucking up in groups every few weeks saying so and so is an awful person. Regardless of their feelings, they draw upon the admins resources and we try and deliver. 
  

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carlos b fly

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#85 [url]

Nov 24 16 10:02 AM

Kevon wrote:
matty tat tat wrote:
ShayneFly wrote:
Yes. And this needs to happen more. But also you will have members who won't want to create the "drama" associated with "dobbing" on someone and fearing the backlash of that person or that person and others. So, they will just lurk or leave. I think if someone takes issue with something someone else has said or done to them, then the other party needs to be willing to think, "Well, I don't agree but who I am to say who should be offended by what. I'll keep it in mind or just not interact with that person in the future." Or something lol There are sometimes habits of people who have been "dobbed" on to ignite the issue on the board so all can see.


I see your point but I think this place needs to be less rigid and more relaxed. People should feel they're able to express what they're thinking or feeling. If someone calls another person a dickhead, or ass hole, or %*@+% face, personally I don't think that warrants a ban or a warning. Unless the person on the receiving end says "that's not fair." 
I see what you're getting at but this could lead to a lot of game playing. I like A and don't like B. A shades me during an argument, but that's fine. B does the same thing, I have a huge issue with it, how dare they. It might lead to the same lack of consistency and double standards that are being complained about. Some people getting a pass just because of who they are or being selectively sensitive just because of another agenda.


And this is what we had with situations like Erica (a poster who was actually used as an example of bad behaviour). Erica calls MC4life a "stupid batty boy with no %*@@+%' clue" because they think Beyoncé is a talentless wench. We let it go. MC4life replies with "you're a rude n!gger #!#%%". We were literally then sat there in posts and pages descending into filth. It wasn't nice to read, it was chaos and it led to us having some of kind of system with a rough structure where we could calm it down and stop anymore feelings getting hurt as posters would literally tear other apart for days.

NOTE: I'm giving a hypothetical with Erica/MC4life. This incident didn't actually occur.  
  

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#86 [url]

Nov 24 16 10:15 AM

^ could the snidey, snippy, antagonistic comments etc be because of the iron fist grip some feel the mods have this place in, though? All I'm saying is maybe if the grip is loosened then perhaps that animosity will wane and there won't be such an "us and them" mentality. Kevon; understood and that could (and probably even happens now) but I would look at it as the mod's responsibility to be like "we'll hang on, you're asking for person B to be issued a warning when person A said the same thing to you last week and you didn't have a problem." I know that the mods don't live on here and keeping track of everything can get demanding but I also don't think the mods acting on every perceived insult, shade, antagonistic remark is the right approach if it's based solely on their opinion of what's the right behaviour. It just looks and feels like we're being babied. For example, if person A says something to person B that could be perceived as insulting and person B doesn't say anything, I believe the mod should PM person B and ask if they want action taken instead of just posting publicly telling person A off. Even if person B doesn't want any action taken, person A should be PM'd with a "watch your mouth" or "tone it down". Keep the disciplinary stuff in the shadows and not out in the open, just my thoughts.

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greekmenrule

Posts: 1,969 GreekGodOfChicago

#87 [url]

Nov 24 16 10:22 AM

"This is a very big issue. I'm not aiming this at everyone but there is a concentrated group of people who are constantly make sniping, snidey, antagonistic remarks about admins when we are nowhere even in or involved in a conversation. It is starting to feel like a very personal vendetta between a strain of posters who are in that middle ground of new and veteran, who seem to feel they aren't enough on the radar and need to chop off a few heads. What you've done instead is build a wall where you won't approach when we could help you on a matter and you're telling us we're awful people simply because things aren't going your way or how you want.

Its not building a great feeling. As Matty said, there is tension and for me, its starting to get personal.

Which is ironic as 'professionally' (ie, Mariah and her music) you are all such great posters and I never clash with your views. I've actively tried to engage into your posts because it makes you post more and you are genuinely providing great content and it helps establish you more and more here.

Someone like Mario and Vinny are great for putting in a PM and asking for my opinion, help or intervention on a matter. We don't always see eye to eye and yes, I've known them both a longtime but I have and always will try and do what I can and give them a view or even intervene in some manner. You don't see either of them clucking up in groups every few weeks saying so and so is an awful person. Regardless of their feelings, they draw upon the admins resources and we try and deliver. "






I'm sorry but Carlos you are so ridiculously condescending that you aren't even aware of it....I genuinely think that you are unfit to be in a leadership role here. point blank.
I dont have anything to lose or gain by saying that other then the fact that I am a Mariah Fan here for a long time and have always enjoyed FOMM and have NEVER EVER witnessed the display of or level of disrespect that you have shown this Board. You chastised us as if we were children, you berated us, talked down at us, closed a f*cking thread bc things weren't going YOUR way and then you ban a member for speaking......I'm sorry but it's utter non-sense and complete bullsh*t


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Last Edited By: greekmenrule Nov 24 16 10:25 AM. Edited 1 time.

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Kevon

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#88 [url]

Nov 24 16 10:23 AM

matty tat tat wrote:
^ could the snidey, snippy, antagonistic comments etc be because of the iron fist grip some feel the mods have this place in, though? All I'm saying is maybe if the grip is loosened then perhaps that animosity will wane and there won't be such an "us and them" mentality. Kevon; understood and that could (and probably even happens now) but I would look at it as the mod's responsibility to be like "we'll hang on, you're asking for person B to be issued a warning when person A said the same thing to you last week and you didn't have a problem." I know that the mods don't live on here and keeping track of everything can get demanding but I also don't think the mods acting on every perceived insult, shade, antagonistic remark is the right approach if it's based solely on their opinion of what's the right behaviour. It just looks and feels like we're being babied. For example, if person A says something to person B that could be perceived as insulting and person B doesn't say anything, I believe the mod should PM person B and ask if they want action taken instead of just posting publicly telling person A off. Even if person B doesn't want any action taken, person A should be PM'd with a "watch your mouth" or "tone it down". Keep the disciplinary stuff in the shadows and not out in the open, just my thoughts.

I guess this is where I am struggling to picture it. In this thread alone I've seen people saying that they want more transparency. For example, people assume David gets away with everything then Carlos reveals that he has actually pulled him up about some stuff in the past, privately. Or that Gawain wasn't just reprimanded out of nowhere, there was issues that had gone on via PM that people didn't know about. So when action is taken it seems out of the blue. Therefore there's a lack of transparency.

Then on the flip side I'm reading that there would be a preference to keep the moderation stuff to the sidelines and in private/not in the open. So which is it? Do you see where I'm coming from?

And I am not trying to be rude or difficult here, I think it's great that we're having an open yet civilised discussion about this, I think that's a great start. I just want to highlight where I see potential "can't win" situations coming up where we're seeing conflicting suggestions.



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carlos b fly

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#89 [url]

Nov 24 16 10:23 AM

matty tat tat wrote:
^ could the snidey, snippy, antagonistic comments etc be because of the iron fist grip some feel the mods have this place in, though? All I'm saying is maybe if the grip is loosened then perhaps that animosity will wane and there won't be such an "us and them" mentality.


Oh, totally, I could see that. No group who wants things their way but doesn't wield the 'iron fist' will ever be happy unless its being used to their advantage. But I come back to my point - if a poster was being awful to you or you felt there was an ongoing issue you had with someone, what do you think is more effective? PMing an admin and asking them to listen to your views and ask for their assistance or slag off an admin constantly and gleefully enjoy negative things being generated at them?

What do you think will help you more?
  

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matty tat tat

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#90 [url]

Nov 24 16 10:24 AM

Lol at that scenario. MC4Life should be banned because the use of the word n!gger is unacceptable in any culture and Erika sent a stern PM saying that Beyoncé IS just an urban Leona Lewis and to calm down because it's only Beyoncé. The thread should then be locked temporarily (a day or so) and maybe a new locked thread opened explaining the situation and the reason for the locking. After the lock down period, the thread reopened and the notice thread archived. I know you didn't ask for how thoughts on how it should be handled but to me that's how something so serious and sensitive should be handled.

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Stamos

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#91 [url]

Nov 24 16 10:24 AM

Not this becoming a conspiracy theory now...
The vast majority in this thread are having the same opinion about what they consider an abuse of power by an administrator.
It's something called popular opinion and not some kind of paranoid personal agenda.

What Shayne did, to address the issue without threats, and without avoiding it and conveniently manipulating anyone's responses to his benefit, is what I personally expect from an administrator.




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Kevon

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#92 [url]

Nov 24 16 10:30 AM

matty tat tat wrote:
Lol at that scenario. MC4Life should be banned because the use of the word n!gger is unacceptable in any culture and Erika sent a stern PM saying that Beyoncé IS just an urban Leona Lewis and to calm down because it's only Beyoncé. The thread should then be locked temporarily (a day or so) and maybe a new locked thread opened explaining the situation and the reason for the locking. After the lock down period, the thread reopened and the notice thread archived. I know you didn't ask for how thoughts on how it should be handled but to me that's how something so serious and sensitive should be handled.
Now I am really confused lol, this is a 5 step process and you're saying the thread is over moderrated already. Not that I think it's a bad idea for this situation.

Also "Batty Boy" is a very offensive term for a gay person, especially coming from someone who is straight. So in this situation we have homophobia and racism. Why shouldn't 'Erica' be banned also?



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greekmenrule

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#93 [url]

Nov 24 16 10:32 AM

Kevon wrote:
matty tat tat wrote:
^ could the snidey, snippy, antagonistic comments etc be because of the iron fist grip some feel the mods have this place in, though? All I'm saying is maybe if the grip is loosened then perhaps that animosity will wane and there won't be such an "us and them" mentality. Kevon; understood and that could (and probably even happens now) but I would look at it as the mod's responsibility to be like "we'll hang on, you're asking for person B to be issued a warning when person A said the same thing to you last week and you didn't have a problem." I know that the mods don't live on here and keeping track of everything can get demanding but I also don't think the mods acting on every perceived insult, shade, antagonistic remark is the right approach if it's based solely on their opinion of what's the right behaviour. It just looks and feels like we're being babied. For example, if person A says something to person B that could be perceived as insulting and person B doesn't say anything, I believe the mod should PM person B and ask if they want action taken instead of just posting publicly telling person A off. Even if person B doesn't want any action taken, person A should be PM'd with a "watch your mouth" or "tone it down". Keep the disciplinary stuff in the shadows and not out in the open, just my thoughts.

I guess this is where I am struggling to picture it. In this thread alone I've seen people saying that they want more transparency. For example, people assume David gets away with everything then Carlos reveals that he has actually pulled him up about some stuff in the past, privately. Or that Gawain wasn't just reprimanded out of nowhere, there was issues that had gone on via PM that people didn't know about. So when action is taken it seems out of the blue. Therefore there's a lack of transparency.

Then on the flip side I'm reading that there would be a preference to keep the moderation stuff to the sidelines and in private/not in the open. So which is it? Do you see where I'm coming from?

And I am not trying to be rude or difficult here, I think it's great that we're having an open yet civilised discussion about this, I think that's a great start. I just want to highlight where I see potential "can't win" situations coming up where we're seeing conflicting suggestions.

simple.
dont
abuse
power.

DONE

Kev and Other Mature Mods/Admins/Members
Think about the fact that nothing like this on this board has EVER made me offended, like truly offended, then how I felt when I cam here to check in and enjoy 10 minutes of Mariahdom ONLY to see some dude chastising people and blatantly implying and threatening to close a conversation simply bc they didnt like what was being said only then to learn that "he/she" had banned an active member....Man, you mods MUST understand how upsetting that is and how disturbing it is.....it's not personal 
it's just sad.

image

Last Edited By: greekmenrule Nov 24 16 10:38 AM. Edited 1 time.

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#94 [url]

Nov 24 16 10:34 AM

matty tat tat wrote:
^ could the snidey, snippy, antagonistic comments etc be because of the iron fist grip some feel the mods have this place in, though? All I'm saying is maybe if the grip is loosened then perhaps that animosity will wane and there won't be such an "us and them" mentality. Kevon; understood and that could (and probably even happens now) but I would look at it as the mod's responsibility to be like "we'll hang on, you're asking for person B to be issued a warning when person A said the same thing to you last week and you didn't have a problem." I know that the mods don't live on here and keeping track of everything can get demanding but I also don't think the mods acting on every perceived insult, shade, antagonistic remark is the right approach if it's based solely on their opinion of what's the right behaviour. It just looks and feels like we're being babied. For example, if person A says something to person B that could be perceived as insulting and person B doesn't say anything, I believe the mod should PM person B and ask if they want action taken instead of just posting publicly telling person A off. Even if person B doesn't want any action taken, person A should be PM'd with a "watch your mouth" or "tone it down". Keep the disciplinary stuff in the shadows and not out in the open, just my thoughts.
It also happens when there has been no incidents for a period or someone will refer to something that happened months ago out of the blue in some random conversation. To us, that just comes across as people who are never willing to let go of a grudge - be it for the reason they simply don't like us personally or they just want to score a point with their friends or they just have nothing else to be catty about at that moment. And then if something happens to them, they're typically the first ones to come running and asking for help from us about it - and for the most part, I think we do help as best we can whenever we are asked to no matter who requests it. So, for us it always seems to be a lose-lose situation. Even when we're quiet, even when we're helping, we're still going to cop the insults anyway.

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matty tat tat

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#95 [url]

Nov 24 16 10:35 AM

Carlos; the former, obviously. Maybe I need to read the rules thread again but perhaps we need to define a complaint process. Maybe PMing a moderator asking for their assistance or for them to intervene is the correct way to go about it as opposed to the moderator swooping in and resolving an issue they see but others may not. I think moderators should only stop threads or "butt" in when someone's being ganged up on or serious racial, religious, or political slurs are grown around Calling someone out because they're being a %%*%@ I don't think requires posts to be deleted or threads to be locked or people banned etc except in extreme circumstances. Kevon; I see your point and it would look like it's out of the blue, just as the Gawain thing did, but maybe a public notice or something is required when someone's banned saying this is what's happened, multiple PMs were had etc and it was a joint decision of the moderators to issue a ban. It's not to embarrass or publicly shame people but more to mitigate these kinds of reactions and outbursts.

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carlos b fly

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#96 [url]

Nov 24 16 10:41 AM

matty tat tat wrote:
Carlos; the former, obviously. Maybe I need to read the rules thread again but perhaps we need to define a complaint process. Maybe PMing a moderator asking for their assistance or for them to intervene is the correct way to go about it as opposed to the moderator swooping in and resolving an issue they see but others may not.


Well, you shouldn't need a process to ask for my help. Lots of posters do it and you can and always should. As I've said, I get messages for everything from changing thread titles, forum admin restructures, complaints about members they'd like me to look at, asking for views on situations, etc. We are there to react in public situations at our discretion and we are also there to react should you come and need something.

Even if you don't like me or the other admins, I can assure you we'll always hear you out and try and find a solution when you PM.

  

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matty tat tat

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#97 [url]

Nov 24 16 10:48 AM

I need to head to bed because it's nearly 2am and I've got work tomorrow. I'm just throwing out ideas and suggestions as to how to potentially better the communication between moderator actions and regular members. I'm also not necessarily saying that moderators need to answer to us but I do think that if a ban is issued to someone, anyone, some kind of announcement or mass PM to all members (if that's dven possible) should be made saying this action has been taken due to X issue, steps attempted to diffuse the escalating situation were blah blah blah, they failed and said person was banned for X length of time. If a user wants to discuss further they should PM one of the moderators. I'm not saying this is how things should be but there is clearly tension between the members and TPTB and in my opinion attitudes need to shift and collectively we need to change, for the better, in order to keep this place alive.

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mcfan

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#Beautiful

#98 [url]

Nov 24 16 10:50 AM

BeyondIdolization wrote:
I know that some of you here like to scream bully and play the victim, but you guys are actually being bullies and hypocrites in this very thread. You're badgering Carlos over and over and discounting his feelings because according to YOU the comments weren't offensive. How is he supposed to take any of your complaints seriously in the future when you're basically saying to him 'oh big deal, get over it'? Again, you guys can't play the victims when you seem more than willing to gang up on someone else and try to bully them into submission.
I don't think anyone is ganging up on Carlos. At least that was not the objective of this thread. And the only reason why I sent the link to this thread to a few posters is because I thought it was fair to have this kind of discussion. Cathartic even. 

I have played the victim in the past and I admit to it 100%. However, that's because serious accusations were thrown at me and I felt the need to call for help and I kindly received such help. And for that I am grateful.

I am also grateful that the #1 bully of this board has fled the scene but that's another issue. No shade, but shade. 

  
  

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matty tat tat

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Nov 24 16 10:52 AM

^ Gotcha Carlos, but the point I was making was if a person doesn't ask for help or complain about someone via PM or in a thread, should the moderator step in and assert their power when it wasn't requested? Anyway, good discussion. I need to sleep. Goodnight/day/morning.

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carlos b fly

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Posts: 24,475 You'll never be ready. Memba I told you!

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Nov 24 16 10:53 AM

matty tat tat wrote:
I need to head to bed because it's nearly 2am and I've got work tomorrow. I'm just throwing out ideas and suggestions as to how to potentially better the communication between moderator actions and regular members. I'm also not necessarily saying that moderators need to answer to us but I do think that if a ban is issued to someone, anyone, some kind of announcement or mass PM to all members (if that's dven possible) should be made saying this action has been taken due to X issue, steps attempted to diffuse the escalating situation were blah blah blah, they failed and said person was banned for X length of time. If a user wants to discuss further they should PM one of the moderators. I'm not saying this is how things should be but there is clearly tension between the members and TPTB and in my opinion attitudes need to shift and collectively we need to change, for the better, in order to keep this place alive.


I appreciate your ideas and a few you've made I would like to consider personally but I don't agree on this. I actually think its a bit humiliating for the person that's been banned and all the details gory details given to all and sundry. I think its easier for the poster to ideally just have 3 days off if they violate the T & C's. If everyone knows they've been banned, they'll return feeling a lot more annoyed rather than just pretending they had a few days off being busy with work or whatnot.


  

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