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mcfan

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#21 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:04 PM

carlos b fly wrote:
mcfan wrote:
I read the terms again, could you please clarify if a 3 days ban comes after three warnings or am I interpreting in a wrong way?


A three day ban comes after a violation of the rules. The bans form three warnings than could potentially lead to a permanent ban.

Basically, three bans/warnings in a year and you could be gone for good.

Got it. Thanks!

  
  

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Stamos

Posts: 4,742 Las cosas se van a poner locas!

#22 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:05 PM

So basically his warnings were made because he opened a new thread about an existing topic?
It's not really a crime now is it... At least not to my eyes because it doesn't really bother me.
And yeah, Gawain has talked about his boyfriend and all, I don't really think he can be homophobic
All in all, my conclusion is that all this has been a silly misunderstanding.




~~MCinGR  for the nostalgia ~~






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mcfan

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#23 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:08 PM

Stamos wrote:
So basically his warnings were made because he opened a new thread about an existing topic?
It's not really a crime now is it... At least not to my eyes because it doesn't really bother me.


It's not. The topic can be deleted and end of discussion. This rule didn't exist when I started posting here and Gawain joined the board before me and there was no rule. He just might not know it? 

Whatever. Gawain please don't let it get to you. Come back and enjoy the board and be festive! It's Christmas time, Mariah will slay and you should be here to celebrate it with all of us. Just don't be rude again, please. 

  
  

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#24 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:11 PM

If anything comes out of this situation, I would hope it would be discussion as to the moderation of the board. It's not entirely clear  what powers mod and admins have and how they can use them. Like most other boards, it should be clear and transparent when someone has received a warning, how many they can receive before being banned temporarily and why they would then receive a permanent ban.


Otherwise, rules are enforced unfairly and unequally. Many members have said far worse and personally offensive things while I've been a member and they were never banned or warned. That's purely down to favouritism and friendships and that's understandable given the nature of the community here. But a moderators role is to apply the rules fairly and if they are abusing their power then the board isn't being moderated properly.

A moderators role shouldn't to meddle in or stymie debates. Message boards are places where discussions get heated and people have differing views that often come down to a back and forth as to who said what. A moderator should apply the rules and issue warnings and bans when people are being really personally offensive and aggressive towards another member, not just when it's something trivial and there's a dislike for that person. If you found what Gawain said to be offensive Carlos, then that's fair. But objectively speaking, what he said is pretty much common place. People are called bitter or drama queens in all walks of life. Banning him for that screams of an abuse of power. If his PM was also offensive, it should be made clear what constitutes "offensive behaviour" that breaches a board rule. Not just what is offensive to you because you have power.

I feel there should be a forum discussion as to the rules and how they are to be applied to ensure some level of fairness, transparency and accountability for us plebian members and the moderators/administrators alike.

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carlos b fly

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#25 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:11 PM

Stamos wrote:
So basically his warnings were made because he opened a new thread about an existing topic?
It's not really a crime now is it... At least not to my eyes because it doesn't really bother me.


This is an ongoing issue you aren't involved in or briefed on, so it bothering you is neither required or relevant.

It doesn't need to be run past you, nor will it be. It has been discussed with Gawain numerous times, the admin duties required to refocus the conversation from unneeded multiple threads deployed and again, he was asked not to do it and he responded with escalating the situation with aggressive actions towards a moderator on two different channels when he could just have said "okay" and posted away in the thread he was directed to.
  

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carlos b fly

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#26 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:17 PM

mimifan09 wrote:
If you found what Gawain said to be offensive Carlos, then that's fair. But objectively speaking, what he said is pretty much common place. People are called bitter or drama queens in all walks of life. Banning him for that screams of an abuse of power. If his PM was also offensive, it should be made clear what constitutes "offensive behaviour" that breaches a board rule.

I did, as I've clearly said. I don't have to repeat myself on this matter do I? Even more so to also get an even more berating PM. This was the straw that broke the camels back and was in violation of three T & C's, which were all very clearly spelt out to Gawain during my much more civilised reply. This was made clear and is frankly, a conversation between myself and the other party, nobody else.  
  

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mcfan

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#27 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:20 PM

So is this discussion pointless? Is that what you're saying? Because I don't think it is and clearly so do others.

it should be made clear what constitutes "offensive behaviour" that breaches a board rule.


I absolutely agree with this. Can we get practical examples? And please don't say calling someone a drama queen is offensive, cause no one in 2016 believes it is. Gay or straight or whatever else. 

  
  

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Stamos

Posts: 4,742 Las cosas se van a poner locas!

#28 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:22 PM

carlos b fly wrote:
Stamos wrote:
So basically his warnings were made because he opened a new thread about an existing topic?
It's not really a crime now is it... At least not to my eyes because it doesn't really bother me.


This is an ongoing issue you aren't involved in or briefed on, so it bothering you is neither required or relevant.

It doesn't need to be run past you, nor will it be. It has been discussed with Gawain numerous times, the admin duties required to refocus the conversation from unneeded multiple threads deployed and again, he was asked not to do it and he responded with escalating the situation with aggressive actions towards a moderator on two different channels when he could just have said "okay" and posted away in the thread he was directed to.
  


I could easily read in to this as a being a rude reply to me Carlos.
With all due respect I have been on this board since day 1, possibly even before you have arrived, so let me remind you that respect has to be mutual, as it has always been here, to both mods and members. 
Have a good night. 





~~MCinGR  for the nostalgia ~~






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carlos b fly

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#29 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:27 PM

Stamos wrote:
carlos b fly wrote:
Stamos wrote:
So basically his warnings were made because he opened a new thread about an existing topic?
It's not really a crime now is it... At least not to my eyes because it doesn't really bother me.


This is an ongoing issue you aren't involved in or briefed on, so it bothering you is neither required or relevant.

It doesn't need to be run past you, nor will it be. It has been discussed with Gawain numerous times, the admin duties required to refocus the conversation from unneeded multiple threads deployed and again, he was asked not to do it and he responded with escalating the situation with aggressive actions towards a moderator on two different channels when he could just have said "okay" and posted away in the thread he was directed to.
  


I could easily read in to this as a being a rude reply to me Carlos.




I could easily read that you're telling me I have to tolerate being called something (twice) that was clearly framed in an offensive manner. I guess its okay though if you don't like the person, right? Still, if you can find some website written by a 16 year old telling you its cool slang I'll honestly just lean back and take it no matter the intent.   
  

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carlos b fly

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#30 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:29 PM

mcfan wrote:
So is this discussion pointless? Is that what you're saying? Because I don't think it is and clearly so do others.

it should be made clear what constitutes "offensive behaviour" that breaches a board rule.


I absolutely agree with this. Can we get practical examples? And please don't say calling someone a drama queen is offensive, cause no one in 2016 believes it is. Gay or straight or whatever else. 


It already was to the person in question.

  

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mcfan

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#31 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:30 PM

carlos b fly wrote:
Stamos wrote:
carlos b fly wrote:


This is an ongoing issue you aren't involved in or briefed on, so it bothering you is neither required or relevant.

It doesn't need to be run past you, nor will it be. It has been discussed with Gawain numerous times, the admin duties required to refocus the conversation from unneeded multiple threads deployed and again, he was asked not to do it and he responded with escalating the situation with aggressive actions towards a moderator on two different channels when he could just have said "okay" and posted away in the thread he was directed to.


I could easily read in to this as a being a rude reply to me Carlos.

I could easily read that you're telling me I have to tolerate being called something (twice) that was clearly framed in an offensive manner. I guess its okay though if you don't like the person, right? Still, if you can find some website written by a 16 year old telling you its cool slang I'll honestly just lean back and take it no matter the intent.   
Now I know you know damn well that's not what Stamos meant. Please! Let's not. 

  
  

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mcfan

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#32 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:32 PM

carlos b fly wrote:
mcfan wrote:
So is this discussion pointless? Is that what you're saying? Because I don't think it is and clearly so do others.

it should be made clear what constitutes "offensive behaviour" that breaches a board rule.


I absolutely agree with this. Can we get practical examples? And please don't say calling someone a drama queen is offensive, cause no one in 2016 believes it is. Gay or straight or whatever else. 

It already was to the person in question. 



We are asking a mod to clarify stuff. Why so much secrecy? We got it, you had your talk with Gawain. We're not asking you to post screenshots of it, we don't want to know what went down. 

We are asking in a general way. 

  
  

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carlos b fly

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Posts: 24,475 You'll never be ready. Memba I told you!

#33 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:34 PM

mcfan wrote:
carlos b fly wrote:
mcfan wrote:
So is this discussion pointless? Is that what you're saying? Because I don't think it is and clearly so do others.



I absolutely agree with this. Can we get practical examples? And please don't say calling someone a drama queen is offensive, cause no one in 2016 believes it is. Gay or straight or whatever else. 

It already was to the person in question. 



We are asking a mod to clarify stuff. Why so much secrecy? We got it, you had your talk with Gawain. We're not asking you to post screenshots of it, we don't want to know what went down. 

We are asking in a general way. 


So what do you want to know? What examples are you looking for here?

  

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#34 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:34 PM

carlos b fly wrote:
mimifan09 wrote:
If you found what Gawain said to be offensive Carlos, then that's fair. But objectively speaking, what he said is pretty much common place. People are called bitter or drama queens in all walks of life. Banning him for that screams of an abuse of power. If his PM was also offensive, it should be made clear what constitutes "offensive behaviour" that breaches a board rule.

I did, as I've clearly said. I don't have to repeat myself on this matter do I? Even more so to also get an even more berating PM. This was the straw that broke the camels back and was in violation of three T & C's, which were all very clearly spelt out to Gawain during my much more civilised reply. This was made clear and is frankly, a conversation between myself and the other party, nobody else.  
  
Do you realise how patronising you sound and often sounded in your replies in this thread? If I was an admin, maybe i'd ban you because I feel patronised. That's completely irrational but so is what you have done to Gawain. 

Gawain is, however, the trigger in this matter. Your messages with him are your business.

What is my business as a member of this board is a query as to the rules of the board, a statement as to what type of behaviour is deemed to be offensive or aggressive that it breaks a rule and deserves a warning and/or ban? 

If you want to make this board better and try rejuvenate it then I would suggest you consider making the administration of the board transparent. Give the members a chance to discuss what types of behaviour should be deemed offensive and aggressive and to contribute to a debate as to the standards we feel this board should be run to. Otherwise this is a dictatorship. You and a few others can do what you like, ban who you like, censor who you like and eventually just have the board to yourself because it is heading that way as things stand whether you want to accept that or not. 

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mcfan

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#35 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:36 PM

carlos b fly wrote:
mcfan wrote:
carlos b fly wrote:

It already was to the person in question. 


We are asking a mod to clarify stuff. Why so much secrecy? We got it, you had your talk with Gawain. We're not asking you to post screenshots of it, we don't want to know what went down. 

We are asking in a general way. 

So what do you want to know? What examples are you looking for here?

What is considered "bad behaviour" in a board where we generally support and respect each others as a family? FOMM isn't as large as it used to be, the community has shrinked a lot. 

It is clear to me that we don't need the same rules as a board with 5k+ members and fans of different artists waring against each others. 

  
  

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carlos b fly

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#36 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:44 PM

mimifan09 wrote:
carlos b fly wrote:
mimifan09 wrote:
If you found what Gawain said to be offensive Carlos, then that's fair. But objectively speaking, what he said is pretty much common place. People are called bitter or drama queens in all walks of life. Banning him for that screams of an abuse of power. If his PM was also offensive, it should be made clear what constitutes "offensive behaviour" that breaches a board rule.

I did, as I've clearly said. I don't have to repeat myself on this matter do I? Even more so to also get an even more berating PM. This was the straw that broke the camels back and was in violation of three T & C's, which were all very clearly spelt out to Gawain during my much more civilised reply. This was made clear and is frankly, a conversation between myself and the other party, nobody else.  
  
Do you realise how patronising you sound and often sounded in your replies in this thread?


Let me stop you right there. Right there.

You wanna know what's really patronising?  

That not once have you even attempted to think the other person (ie; me) in this conversation could actually have some feelings? "Bitter queen" was not said with any affection in this instance. It was an insult, you know it, I know it, we know exactly the tone and context it was being used in this incident, so lets not mess about. And yes, lets NOT patronise. You haven't once in this conversation even tried to say to me "I could understand why that may have been considered hurtful or insulting from your side, as you did not throw any kind of insult at the other party". You have not done this once.

If the tables were turned, I would at least try to also understand your emotional perspective on it, even if I didn't agree.


  

  

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carlos b fly

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#37 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:45 PM

mcfan wrote:
carlos b fly wrote:
mcfan wrote:

We are asking a mod to clarify stuff. Why so much secrecy? We got it, you had your talk with Gawain. We're not asking you to post screenshots of it, we don't want to know what went down. 

We are asking in a general way. 

So what do you want to know? What examples are you looking for here?

What is considered "bad behaviour" in a board where we generally support and respect each others as a family?

This is a very broad question, Mario. You'll need to be a bit more specific.
  

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mcfan

Posts: 34,981

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#38 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:49 PM

carlos b fly wrote:

Let me stop you right there. Right there.

You wanna know what's really patronising?  

That not once have you even attempted to think the other person (ie; me) in this conversation could actually have some feelings? "Bitter queen" was not said with any affection in this instance. It was an insult, you know it, I know it, we know exactly the tone and context it was being used in this incident, so lets not mess about. And yes, lets NOT patronise. You haven't once in this conversation even tried to say to me "I could understand why that may have been considered hurtful or insulting from your side, as you did not throw any kind of insult at the other party". You have not done this once.

If the tables were turned, I would at least try to also understand your emotional perspective on it, even if I didn't agree.



Sorry you felt that way Carlos. You have to understand though that you are a mod and all the questions were directed at you because you were also part of this mess. 

It's not that we don't have empathy, it's just amplified by your double position in this situation. 

  
  

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mcfan

Posts: 34,981

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#39 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:51 PM

carlos b fly wrote:
mcfan wrote:
carlos b fly wrote:

So what do you want to know? What examples are you looking for here?

What is considered "bad behaviour" in a board where we generally support and respect each others as a family?

This is a very broad question, Mario. You'll need to be a bit more specific.


Basically let's discuss the rules tailoring them to our community rather than just making them standard, lifted from wherever else. Let's open this debate and draw form our experiences here. 

  
  

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carlos b fly

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Posts: 24,475 You'll never be ready. Memba I told you!

#40 [url]

Nov 23 16 7:53 PM

mcfan wrote:
carlos b fly wrote:

Let me stop you right there. Right there.

You wanna know what's really patronising?  

That not once have you even attempted to think the other person (ie; me) in this conversation could actually have some feelings? "Bitter queen" was not said with any affection in this instance. It was an insult, you know it, I know it, we know exactly the tone and context it was being used in this incident, so lets not mess about. And yes, lets NOT patronise. You haven't once in this conversation even tried to say to me "I could understand why that may have been considered hurtful or insulting from your side, as you did not throw any kind of insult at the other party". You have not done this once.

If the tables were turned, I would at least try to also understand your emotional perspective on it, even if I didn't agree.



Sorry you felt that way Carlos. You have to understand though that you are a mod and all the questions were directed at you because you were also part of this mess. 

It's not that we don't have empathy, it's just amplified by your double position in this situation. 

In fairness, you haven't just dismissed it as "oh, well", Mario. And that I appreciate. Yes, you have considered Gawain's feelings but have also tried to understand that coming at someone like that, with that kind of language, in that situation, could be considered aggressive and - actually, yes - a bit insulting, personal and hurtful.  
  

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