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Jan 4 09 9:44 PM

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Im seriously lusting for someone else, even though I have a boyfriend and this guy I am craving for also has his girl...and they're enggaged, but seriously we get along so well, like I get along with him more than my current guy and we can both feel the chemistry there, but I am so not that kind of girl but I like this guy so much that I may make a move.

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heightsgarage

Posts: 6,161 Chillin' at FOMM

#1 [url]

Jan 5 09 6:38 AM

slapppp...



lust is hard. i literally just got home from having sex with someone I shouldn't be having sex with. so i can't tell you u're wrong for lusting after this guy and i can't tell you not to jump his bones cuz I probably would've already.





he's the kind of guy you can't leave alone... anyone have that kind of guy -- that you should just leave alone but melt when texts or calls.. and when you're with him you can't believe yourself - asking yourself why you're there. but then all you want is to him to do the thing he does that will only make you end up feeling like crap for a week?

he's like a bag of cocaine =/

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Nike

Posts: 11,961 We're all just living in the moment of being positive and there's like, people called haters ... [No, no, Cindy] ... and we give them positivity

#2 [url]

Jan 5 09 6:58 AM

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Kevon

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Posts: 37,602 'Showing receipts and offering seats'

#3 [url]

Jan 5 09 7:12 AM

^Nike, come back when you hit puberty

It is really difficult, but you have to think what will benefit you in the long run. I've been presented with situations like this before. I worked with a guy in my last job who seemed to have a thing for me. He was very attractive, yeah, but I never thought much of it until my friend saw him - he recognised him and pointed out that the guy was the previous years winner of a contest we have here in the UK called "Mr Gay UK"

I could have done it, but I chose to weigh up whether it was worth it, and it's so not. At the end of the day my partner and I are in it for the long haul, and when you're not only lovers but best friends with the one you're with, nothing else is worth it.

I think you have to evaluate whether you really want to be with your boyfriend - all of this aside. If you're yearning for someone else it probably means that the relationship you're in isn't that important to you. But then remember even if you do end it - this guy is engaged, he probably wont leave his fiancee.

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MisplacedValidity

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Posts: 39,247 He bites the metaphorical carrot.

#4 [url]

Jan 5 09 9:08 AM

I just think it's wrong to cheat. Period. If you are involved and the other person is involved, then you are doing wrong against two people. I mean, he's engaged? Now, if he would do something, he probably shouldn't be engaged, but it isn't your job/right to find that out.

This sh*t is why I ain't ever getting married.

http://friendsofmariahmessageboard.yuku.com/sreply/690834/New-Album-Discussion#collapseThreeReply690834

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Kevon

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Posts: 37,602 'Showing receipts and offering seats'

#5 [url]

Jan 5 09 10:14 AM

^Agreed. Especially on the marriage part... sooo not for me

Seriously though, it seems as though you two are at completely different points in your life. You're young and whilst you're in a relationship, it's not like you've made a committment. From what you've said the relationship may not work out. But that's not a major deal - at your age, relationships often don't work out. Cheating is wrong, but if you want to end your relationship to be with someone else (before you get with the other person, of course ), then that's not a crime. It's just life and being young.

This guy is getting married and that's really different. He's made that committment and if he's the type that would leave his fiance for someone he was lusting after (you), would you ever really be able to trust him?

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The legendary Wing returns. The new CD 'Memwahs of an Impefect Angew'. In stores now!
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MisplacedValidity

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Posts: 39,247 He bites the metaphorical carrot.

#6 [url]

Jan 5 09 11:07 AM

^ True. If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you.

http://friendsofmariahmessageboard.yuku.com/sreply/690834/New-Album-Discussion#collapseThreeReply690834

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therooftop

Posts: 1,754 Chillin' at FOMM

#7 [url]

Jan 5 09 12:19 PM

kevo2002 wrote:
and when you're not only lovers but best friends with the one you're with, nothing else is worth it.

Amen to this one!

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Donnie Mohler

Posts: 3,707 Supreme Being of Leisure

#8 [url]

Jan 5 09 6:24 PM

It's not fair for humans to have monogamy forced down our throats while we grow up and have it embedded in our brains that it's normal, when in nature monogamy is extremely rare.

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rainbow1199

Posts: 12,520 Often imitated, never duplicated.

#9 [url]

Jan 5 09 6:34 PM

What would Carrie Bradshaw say about this If you and your boyfriend were in a more casual relationship, there wouldn't really be anything wrong with it imo other than that he's engaged. That's the big red flag imo. I wouldn't risk ruining his engagement and possibly your relationship.

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.

Posts: 6,116 Thinspiration

#10 [url]

Jan 5 09 11:03 PM

Thanks for all the advice guy, I know where you all are coming from.

The thing is, my current boyfriend is a great guy, just he isn't the usual guy I date, I mean I am usually dating the "bad boys" my current boyfriend is anything but bad, he is laid back and fun however the guy I am lusting for is like my exes, total spunk total bad boy. His name is Darnell, the guy who I am craving for, last night he was over because we are good friends, his fiance doesn't mind and neither does my b/f cause they think we're just good mates. Anyway we talked for like 2 hours, I even admitted to him I get along with him more than my current boyfriend nowadays.

I totally get the point, if he leaves his fiance then the chances are he'll probably cheat on me too but the connection is there and his looks isnt the only reason why I find him attractive, he is such a great guy personality wise too.

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MisplacedValidity

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Posts: 39,247 He bites the metaphorical carrot.

#11 [url]

Jan 6 09 12:20 AM

Donnie Mohler wrote:
It's not fair for humans to have monogamy forced down our throats while we grow up and have it embedded in our brains that it's normal, when in nature monogamy is extremely rare.
Well, true or not, if you are in a relationship where your partner things you are monogamous or wants that, I think you owe it to him/her. If two people agree to have an open relationship, then that's a whole other situation. In the situation the topic post is about, though, there don't appear to be any open relationships.

http://friendsofmariahmessageboard.yuku.com/sreply/690834/New-Album-Discussion#collapseThreeReply690834

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MisplacedValidity

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Posts: 39,247 He bites the metaphorical carrot.

#12 [url]

Jan 6 09 12:23 AM

ArabianLamb wrote:
Thanks for all the advice guy, I know where you all are coming from.

The thing is, my current boyfriend is a great guy, just he isn't the usual guy I date, I mean I am usually dating the "bad boys" my current boyfriend is anything but bad, he is laid back and fun however the guy I am lusting for is like my exes, total spunk total bad boy. His name is Darnell, the guy who I am craving for, last night he was over because we are good friends, his fiance doesn't mind and neither does my b/f cause they think we're just good mates. Anyway we talked for like 2 hours, I even admitted to him I get along with him more than my current boyfriend nowadays.

I totally get the point, if he leaves his fiance then the chances are he'll probably cheat on me too but the connection is there and his looks isnt the only reason why I find him attractive, he is such a great guy personality wise too.
Here is what I always tell people; your "type" isn't working for you, so look elsewhere. I have so many friends who say someone isn't their "type," yet they have dated that same type for years with no long-term success. If this guy reminds you of past boyfriends and those relationships haven't worked out, then why pursue this one?

Now, it seems clear you want to do something with this guy, and if nothing else you need to get it out of your system. So, either break-up with the current boyfriend and pursue this new relationship, or stay with your boyfriend but be honest about having feelings for this other guy and see if your boyfriend minds you exploring them. But in my opinion, cheating in secret should not be an option.

http://friendsofmariahmessageboard.yuku.com/sreply/690834/New-Album-Discussion#collapseThreeReply690834

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alissaveronicaho

Posts: 5,295 Eternally Ardent "M" Lamb

#13 [url]

Jan 8 09 10:46 PM

2 things have to happen if you want to be with that guy. 1. he has to break up with his girlfriend 2. you have to end it with your current guy.

is that realistic? if the 2 things dont happen, someone ends up hurt, and it is likely it wont last.

you might have to delay marriage till you can make up your mind. maybe it's the grass is greener thing. or maybe is it because your current is not approved of by your family?




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