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Jan 12 11 4:56 PM

Christina Aguilera

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Christina Aguilera
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Christina Aguilera is a 4-time Grammy Award winning singer. She has sold over 40 million records worldwide and was ranked #58 on Rolling Stone's list of the 100 Greatest Singers of All Time.



Career Overview

Debut Album

After honing her entertainment chops on the Mickey Mouse Club with the likes of Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake, Christina embarked on a career as a recording artist. Her self-debut album was reflection of the teen pop sound that was hot at the time. That style didn't provide much room for personality, but Chrstina's distinctive voice was her ace in the hole. Her debut album was to catapult her into Whitney/Mariah/Celine territory and establish her as a world-class vocal powerhouse. There was just one small problem:

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Christina may have had the voice, but Britney had the everything else and she was continually being the "Cyndi Lauper to Britney's Madonna." Despite the fact that the record and ticket buying public were considerably more interested in Britney, Christina's 1st album was a commercial success. The album sold 8 million copied in the United States alone, 3 singles topped the Hot 100, and she won the Grammy for Best New Artist joining the likes of perennial music legends such as Men At Work, Jody Watley, and Arrested Development.

The Stripped Era

For her second album Christina sought to rebel against the image of her debut. She wanted to mix pop, rock, and R&B and present herself as a woman with complete autonomy of her sound and her sexuality. She wanted to be free to butt-ass naked if she wanted to because in her mind a bare soul should be more important than a bare ass, and society should no longer be afraid of a female pop star comfortable with her sexuality. This seemed like a great concept, but there were 4 problems:

Problem #1

The whole "sexual liberation as a parallel to artistic liberation" schtick had been done (and done again) by Madonna since 1983.

Problems #2, #3, and #4.

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  • The press and public at-large were still very much transfixed on Britney.
  • Pink had transformed herself from Teena Marie 2.0 to a legitimate rock star.
  • Beyonce was proving herself as a force to be reckoned with on the R&B and the pop charts.

As Christina sought to re-invent herself, the pop, rock, and R&B lanes were all being dominated by other artists and once again she found herself as a bit of an afterthought.

Stripped, however, was by no means a flop, but it received some negative attention from the people who focused on the imagery rather than the talent and the voice behind it. Nonetheless Christina received a Grammy for Best Pop Vocal Performance, and her tour with Justin Timberlake was a critical and commercial success.

Back to Basics

For her next re-invention Christina wanted to eschew current trends pay homage to the blues/soul/jazz legends of yesteryear. The main objective of this project seemed to be "I know who Sarah Vaughan and Etta James are, please take me seriously!" This seemed like a great idea (at least from an artistic standpoint), but there were 3 problems:

Problem #1:

Less than 2 months after the release of Back to Basics another female artist released her soul/blues/jazz-inspired opus. In comparison to Back to Basics, her effort was more well received by critics, the Grammys, and the record-buying public.

Problem #2 and Problem #3:

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Justin Timberlake's FutureFuckFartSounds was quickly solidifying itself as a modern pop/R&B classic (think George Michael's Faith or Usher's Confessions); and Beyonce was fast becoming the alpha female in pop music. If that weren't enough, Gwen Stefani, Nelly Furtado, Fergie, and Rihanna were also shaping up as formidable foes on the Billboard charts.

Christina stans were not pleased.

Nonetheless, despite the lukewarm reception, Christina turned in a memorable performance at the 2007 Grammy Awards, paying vocal tribute to herself James Brown. According to Stanscan, The album sold over 5 million copies worldwide and her Back to Basics tour grossed over $40 million around the world.

Bionic

Christina took a break to get married and hatch a spawn. In pop music extended breaks can be harmful, but motherhood has also inspired some the best pop music of the past 20 years (see: Ray of Light and The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill). Christina emerged from her hiatus to release a greatest "hits" disc, and to throw shade. Shortly afterward she began work on what would become her fourth album, "Bionic". In interviews leading up to the release of "Bionic" Christina used words like "fresh", "organic" and claimed that she didn't really listen to current pop music. This appeared to be brand new era for Christina and an era of new artistic freedom and commercial domination.

There was 1 problem with that:

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When you say things like "You don't listen to pop music" that tells me that you have gone in somebody's basement or college dorm room, found some unknown producer and are about to change the game with some indie/MGMT/new wave/experimental/psychedelic/left field !$++.

But then I remembered who the !#%% I was dealing with.

It turned out the Bionic and the accompanying visuals was not "fresh" but more a conglomeration of her every overused over-processed pop/electro song of the past 5 years. The project was poorly received by the public and critics and was dragged mercilessly in stan wars. The massive dragging of Bionic is commonly referred to as the Bionic Massacre.

Christina Stans

Christina Stans vs. Britney Stans

Britney and Christina were friends on the set of the Mickey Mouse Club some 20 years ago, and remained friendly even when the press tried to pit them against each other during the Teen Pop era of the late 1990's.

However when Britney and Christina performed with Madonna at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards Madonna, Britney, and Christina ate each other out on stage. But as Christina was eating Madonna out the camera panned away to get Justin Timberlake's reaction.

Christina was not happy with this at all and vented her frustrations with MTV and threw not so subtle shade at Britney's lip-synching.

This did not sit well with Britney stans and started a bloody Internet battle between Britney Stans and Christina stans which culminated with Bionic Massacre in 2010.


Christina Stans vs. Beyonce Stans

During her shade spree in Blender Magazine Christina Aguilera insinuated that Beyonce was lip-synching during the 2003 VMAS.

This did not sit well with Beyonce stans. Christina stans thought that with Britney out of commission Christina would be the reigning Queen of Pop but Beyonceitis was taking over the world once again making Christina a bridesmaid.

The Beyonce and Christina stan beef would continue for years, and in 2010 some Beyonce stans and Britney stans formed a brief alliance during the Bionic Massacre.

Christina Stans vs. Mariah Stans

This is the battle of the ambiguously ethnic singing divas.

If you are in the music industry and you are lighter than this:

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Mariah has problem with you, and will probably destroy you.

Mariah and Christina had a brief personal spat, and of course their stans latched on to it and began fighting themselves.

Christina Stans vs. Gaga Stans

See: The Bionic Massacre

Christina Stan Argument

Christina haters will argue that she is highly overrated as a vocalist and not everyone gets excited for the burping, barking, and belching she does on every song. They argue that there is no point in RCA spending millions of dollars on producers and songwriters if all of Christina's caterwauling makes the lyrics unintelligible.

This makes stan wars hard for Christina stans' because the bulk of their argument is based on Christina being "the voice of her generation". In light of her many commericial disappointments Christina stans argue that true success is not about sales it is about artistic fulfillment.

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I find that to be a bucket of dog !$++. If it's solely about art for art's sake then you wouldn't have signed a recording contract in the first place. You would perform in coffee bars for tips and give your music away for free on your MySpace page.

In her stans' defense, vocals are important no matter what Ciara, Rihanna, and Britney Spears stans tell you. In an industry where reality stars, models, and backup dancers are given recording contracts its admirable that Christina stans have become advocates for talented vocalists. But the problem with basing a stan war argument on being a "good singer" is the fact that "good singing" means different things to different stans. We can prove octaves and range but at the end of the day it is still largely subjective. Something that I feel is a great vocal performance may be a bunch of screaming and yelling to someone else. I can't force a person to have the same connection to singing and music as I do, particularly if I'm arguing with stans of artists whose success has nothing to do with singing. Some stans think that just because their favorite makes any kind of noise into a microphone that's good singing, so in stan wars vocal talent isn't as the same kind of ammunition as album sales, ticket sales, and single success. Commercially there has always been someone who has outsold Christina which is probably why Christina stans are so bitter.

Christina-related stan wars will end when Christina haters stop dragging her and when Christina stans start playing in traffic.

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